push and the door doesnt give but you push and the door does or at least it seems to lead to somewhere its not where we were before all these things are ours i mean they are ours they are but one has this wonder about the trajectory when will it when will it fall whenll it come crashing down into a reclining position but no its its its already set itself a deal its its 5 AM in the morning ive been awake since yesterday late yesterday and early in the day which is now tomorrow 9 AM i have to be somewhere except ive been sleeping since way past then and so i start on a push that involves paint and words and these words signal the beginning of it its um its not a midwinter day its its really midsummer and i'm not sure how much i'll talk but thr is this that thrs a thread pulled out pulled out of something and i seem to be riding it i think it leads into a tapestry not a tapestry in the old style thr are no unicorns but thr is something it they thought it was a scorpion it wasnt a scorpion it was just that color and it was uh it was an insect small and motorized thrs that strobe of thr lights the the lighters being flicked and not catching in the wind and the mad panic the rush everybody dragging whatever it was we'd been eating peanut butter sandwiches and sand thats in thr and everything else i am and this is a thread of it that comes un- unraveling too itll be uh inadvertant autobiography itll be everything i have to say thats a joke anyway thrs a timer that starts me how whenevery 15 minutes i will be called and when i am called i will come i will say whatever it is that has been done right now what i have done is simple ive dropped an A and some red and some orange to be something here we go
seems like its part of our basic vocabulary at this point i'm gonna let you uh step in here while i'm working ahh sit anywhere you like the idea is that i mean by now OK it was an innovation somebody said it was an innovation theyd theyd never seen it before but now its its commonplace we have em thr practically stencils and we apply and we call this text making this art making you fill with whatever color um on the tapestry its its less me than someone else its everything i cdve said but i didnt get around to you see you fill the holes and the holes werent cut by you werent made by you they have no identity with you but you can find them touch them with your finger make them feel alive thr is nothing particularly sexual about this if you want sexual itll come up later instead this is a careful almost pseudo scientific almost wearing a lab coat sort of wander into a place everything is probably stainless steel thr thrs no need to tap it all out as carefully as we are doing but the temptation i mean the temptation is always thr eventually we'll end up at the mall of meaning thats where it always ends up and so i'll have to address the whole situation of the kiosks but right now i'm not really sure ah if i'm ready for that the immanent failure i mean i'm already facing the failure i have my face against it its like a nice cool wall and i can say well i can't get in thr thr is no way to get in thr from here i can pick up the focus even as i talk not so much what i'm saying but on little sounds that the recorder makes a certain schting kind of sound that the that the recorder makes it fills my head like a a lullaby a distractor and a question that wd lead you off somewhere to a lovely pasture but isn't where i'm sitting i have no hope for any of this i mean i say i know we'll end up in the mall of meaning but it its not so much that i'll take you thr as its where theyll find the body um my my body at this point i feel like ive uh really only started out and yet its clear i'm lost already and i mean that may be good right you know thrs thrs always a thing its its a rhetoric almost that what we do is not ah you know ah impose ourselves on on the material in the making of art but instead somehow what we're doing is is opening a channel to somewhere i'm all fine if ah if we can get a channel open and um and me uh you know just this sort of helping medium this midwife to some sort of something but i'm not sure its out thr like i dont i dont believe in in language as this sort of thing thats going to sneak up upon us and and and make all this be all this what it wasnt before clearly we're involved i dont want to have to talk about interiority with you please dont make me um um U M its its practically an OM this sort this seed syllable UM the seed syllable of doubt i mean everything has to have a seed syllable right i think doubt’s seed syllable is UM um mani padme hum but not mani and not padme and probably not hum either altho thr is some humming um mani daydream i um mani daydream hum um well lets put it like this thr are tertiary colors and primary colors and secondary colors now is thr a word beyond tertiary or do we just sort of let tertiary stand in for everything out thr a mixture of a mixture of a mixture and i think i that thats where i really wanna start if my poetics is anything its a tertiary poetics oop i talked about myself again nobody likes that talking about yourself is is somehow too easy unless you're willing to stake yourself and call it an autobiography lead back you know beyond the uh what wasnt and it wasnt a scorpion to begin with it was something else dont romanticize the flash of the lighters none of that the tactile medium it seems like what it is i'm involved in now is in fact a tactile medium jasper johns is of course living so he wont roll over in his grave the thread is is steadily unravelling and yet ive lost uh most sense of where it was coming from and i dont i dont mind that i'm not objecting but well its the course of a day and a day is always going to be more than i can keep in my mind its more than anybody seems to keep in thr mind you say that you remember a day with complete clarity or whatever we know thats simply a joke nobody remembers anything i dont remember breakfast very well if we remember anything its its the way things get phrased maybe not even that i mean thats wrong right i mean i dont know how he said it but he somehow swayed me something else going on again and as much as we like language as much as we as poets we yeah i’m i'm addressing a tradition that i'm sort of ambiguously a part of or at least i mean am am i saying that i hope i'm ambiguously a part of it i dont think so i think i just am ambiguously a part of it as everybody is because nobody can embody it except well i perhaps critics can lets give them that um yeah thr thr should be a snort reported but i dont have one to give right now if you were a word what word wd you be for sale by owner this is a sign the the signs of rust on it are immense the signs of need on it i i dont know somehow they got here you pick up a piece of material and if the material is going to lead into art i mean something has to happen its a its a framing trick its a thing we tell ourselves its light its smoke its mirrors i pick up a piece of material and i think about it for a long time or i think about it for no time what happens is a process that becomes enmeshed with a certain number of ideas ideas that are not necessarily a part of it as an object and then somehow they do become part of it they do become not embodied embodied is the wrong word david's right about that and who talks like david i'm never going to be able to be that way so i have to figure out where mine is so’s i'm already getting into these sort of deep uh questions of influence and anxiety or at least perhaps they will be framed that way will i really publish these things or are they too embarassing um i think one of the things that ive been doing recently is just ort of admitting that thr is nothing too embarassing the last improv at times sort of touched that and i think tedd's poetry sometimes touches that too altho he doesnt mean it that way and its probably cruel to say that about him but um at times you just think my god why wd he say something so obviously silly but then again here i am doing it right i think i'd like to leave room for that you know xenia cage's club where she wasn't xenia cage then but where thr was no silliness why why wd you want that i like silliness and the whole schtick i mean its you know its his dogma and and i love him i'll never stop loving john cage's work and his ideas and his thought but the whole schtick but you know that that musicians arent used to hearing sounds thr only listening for relationships you know thrs something missing in in in that dismissive analysis could you not be listening to sounds when youre listening to relationships i mean not plotting things out in a field a field thats going to be squashed like the field of what i'm doing now is going to be squashed when it turns into something else when it turns into you know the hope of publication when it turns into the hope oh oh this is a work that someone will read a bit trendy i hope turning a corner one assumes that theyll end up with a hallway like the one they started on a lot of options to the left and right doors doors feature prominently in his art this’ll be somewhere in the far future this is my ego doors feature prominently in his art doors and doorknobs is it time to give up already and take the timer every time i call the timer i call the gargoyle i call the demon to me and thats fine i'm willing to fight over it i'm willing to know that it stalks me as i go back into the sort of mindless frame purely retinal not probably ultimately interesting talking to yourself is a drag i wish thr was someone else here i cd be talking to but i'm talking to the cat in fact but the cat i dunno is a disjunction between purpose and where i thought i was going to be going i used the word exitable before i'd like to use it again but i havent ever found a reason it seems so sort of you know ahhh it was on the tip of my tongue it came out it was not a freudian slip as it revealed nothing in particular but it was just a term i'd never made as far as i know exitable have i ever said that before an improv then and somebody picked up on it it was mark i'm sure it was mark i know in fact it was picked up on it and said how he liked it as a word how he was probably going to steal it for something i got dibs on that as many of us have said before about things one or the other ground gives slowly way to blue i stain my hands i can't really believe that these outlines are given i mean they are thr when i say the outlines i'm speaking of three or four levels at once and thats not really fair um the outlines of the letters do seem given but clearly we have the chance to do something else with them i mean something else in the way of outlines it has something to do with tradition again it has something to do with possibility more i think it does have more to do with possibility than it has to do with making something that has been done before altho everything that has been done before is clearly going to have that same some sort of vagarity-passing-in-the night with possibility i hate going back to that we're all friends i wish you were here again my life ah for the moment willingly is filling in certain holes filling in lines following patterns the beginning of each sentence seems to sorta foreclose on the number of ways it might go and still i guess retain sentence word i cd disjunct word i cd but these repetitive patterns i distrust them i seem to be able to not maintain any sense of directionality thr but that of course thats the thats the the careful sort of either mystical uh observation of those who hold the view i said earlier but maybe not all so much mystical as just pragmatic how many things can you be doing at once if i'm going to spend so much time thinking about this will i get any thinking about that done is thr much to think about that and of course its all a wank and we know it has to be a wank right because you know it was done in one day now that everything's so easy thrs so much to do well thats nice but no one's going to probably let me get away with it
whoda thought here i am jumping ahead ive ive stopped the meter i dont need it anymore in a sense at least for this moment at least i'm telling myself this this is a joke of course but i mean whoda thought that purple and green wdve made this other purple and made it so so sort of bright and vibrantly lively i guess i wdn't've thought i guess thats all i'm saying thrs laughter behind some doors this has always sort of plagued me the notion of doors it sounds trivial and i know it is i tell myself i'm speaking to some wider instance than my own later audition then some transmuted even this i'm sure transmuted before it reaches the thing that is the group and and what dana was saying recently to me backchannel and something of a cry that ah my identity is with the group and and i need to be able to step outside of that alright i'm open its lavender when you mix green and purple i'm sure that eventually with a little white going you can get lavender give you something to fill in other outlines with is thr anything to be intimidated i i see nothing to be intimidated by but i guess its not me the trouble with all the responses it seems to me any responses my own is that if i can't see it i dont know its thr and the person who does sees does see it can't put a finger on it for me can't lead me the way you you lead a person blindfolded i mean this is not a this is not a gift at a at a birthday its not some sort of curious party its not its nothing like that i thought briefly of this sort of a the tinge of youthful eros involved in spinning the bottle thrs none of that somehow its something about whats thr that i have to believe that it exists that somebody is perceiving it yet because i can't be taken thr i can't lay my hands on it i can't smell it i can do any nothing else with it its hard for me to know hard for me to say and the question i mean is what i want to ask is what what help can be given what help can i give what can i do but i dont know that thr is anything and she said this to me that you might you know need to to move on and and find something else well you thrs nothing else wha what what who else what else do you need is it that you just dont want to write anymore I mean i'm asking these questions of a person shes not here doesnt seem that she doesnt want to write anymore she seems to be saying if i am hearing her is that she feels thr are certain possibilities excluded by what the group is doing by what the group is and i guess that has to be the case but what are they how can how can i find them and some way make them open possibilities can i or does someone else i mean if you feel i dunno its its pin the blame on the victim right that was the cartoon if you feel that thr is this limitation that you can't put your finger on it seems that the task as art at that moment maybe is to figure out what that limitation is figure out how to thrs no figuring its just a reaching out until you lay a hand on it wax but of course wax melts a sort of density of candles that was the thing that we talked about a long time ago and and the idea of running down a flight of stairs one step at a time has come to me over and over and over as the analog for some momentary motion of thought specifically that that the running down the flight of stairs the one step at a time bam one step at a time running down a flight of stairs a sudden overkill of thought about something i dont know i need to feel intimidation i think i i mean that actually i'm not joking in the slightest i need to be intimidated by art i need to be intimidated by the possibility of poetry but i'm not it seems so so wide open so totally in a sense harmless just a string of things you might do things I’d probably like to do find a need to do them it seems wide open yet as i understand its not it foregrounds some sort of closure somewhere for someone its not working for them its not about me i guess i wd like it to be strictly then perhaps i cd figure out something that cd be done about it something i cd say some sort of redress thats beginning to sound like some kind of elegy like some kind of sum like the word some repeated over and over sort of endlessly as if it was going to continue to add anything to what has already been said i'm still belaboring the sign still rolling the living jasper johns i assume he's still alive over were he a corpse were he in the grave this sort of slavish use of what seems like anybodys trope these these letters that come down to us framed in little bits of cardboard and ive come up with a different way of using them here a different way of using them thr is anyone used these i'm sure somebodys used them in these ways its time to add something else into the equation or at least i'm feeling it as that
ok i think i accidentally made a piece of art its called "i am a bad painter" perhaps thr is more to be done to it but i think maybe for once i need to be able to decide that this is in fact the point where i am going to stop the place where further thinking about it will get me into the kind of trouble that isnt productive i am a bad painter i'm fine with that in fact i think that that from now on thats thats just going to be the way it has to be i am a bad poet i think i'm going to have to take up with that too i'm going to have to claim impulses that uh clearly are not not up to stuff not worthy of being replicated not going to be carried forward by somebody into the next millenium and thr always has to be some talker who you know maybe in the 1st round they loved it but then later on it just became this thing they got a job and it led into faculty politics and god knows what else and the deciphering of all these mumblings all these ramblings and it started off innocently enough right i am a bad painter innocently enough but the sign was given up all the colors of it i mean we begin to see this happening the way that one stops and turns the hand looking at the back of it you know i never saw that before i know it so well needing perhaps to sneak up for a cigarette why one one should have to sneak right well i guess i just impose that on myself its not really the case i walk right out in broad daylight and smoke a cigarette but thrs the combination of wishing that i wasnt and thinking i should quit but not being in the process of quitting certainly not tonight and uh not wanting to tip toe wanting to have to creep not make too much noise so that i can fend my bad habit yep
the absolute droning boringest empty spot in the road sort of existence as a poet i mean thats this night thats this day and i mean i'd like to think that that it cd be like a midwinter's day but its not going to be a midwinters day by any means its going to be a long summer early morning with a bleary and out of focus person busily going somewhere with it i hoping i go somewhere with it hoping thr is an answer about that make out of everything something else seems to be the basic artistic principle now cage wd have thought that was wrong right he wd have thought that was where i made my my gravest error thrs beauty in what cage says that now i'm talking about john cage again it seems that for me arts a making i can't can't let silence be i'm always humming i'm always saying hey notice that i'm asking people to see certain relationships i'm falling into the errors that he hummed and thr not errors save in the way that he was thinking of them a good enough way certainly one that means something the sound of the tape recorder running i think is a beautifully understated thing that i'll need to figure out a way to deal with as an homage sometime late in my days and i wear a thing on my head the thing on my head will hold in all the poetry or let it out itll have like a tap everybodyll have em itll be commonplace poets of the future will simply turn on the things on thr heads and the poetry will come out knowing of course also that that i have no i have no compuction to spontanaeity i am more than willing to let this become something completely and utterly utter not knowing the utta not knowing the utter i speak that has to come thru on the tape the tap tap tap on the tape it has to come thru this making of a thing its tactile this is whats happening of it the insistence of it as a thing the tape is not gonna have that the words will only hint theyll be pretending theyll do the best they can every word does but they will be pretending and i wont be able to understand a lot of what this is this too will give me license it will give me broad avenues to walk down when really they were just little cart tracks like i know what a cart track is already i'm pulling an echo out of nowhere a tertiary color a tertiary verb tersh tertiarium te dum dum dum i cd do wreadings all day
already this flight away this inability of the words to keep up with where the mind is running by and thr are voices its compelling voices playing playing echoes and beating horses to death but not real horses i wrote someone today that i'd like to throw eggs at someone else and thats not really true i i dont have anything against chickens i'd like to throw something else at this person but i dont know something that went splat more on every end of the exchange slinging mud brings its own cups so whats happened on this side of the sign doesnt hold the the excitement that the other one does with the other the other half the other side of the sign holds you simply look at it a mixture of colors thrs a certain particularity an almost machinic sort of specificity to this i dont want the paper to wrinkle underneath i only want the paper to wrinkle on top and when we come back to it later and say here is where i left my mark the most precious moments of uh being at wits end derangement is a dalliance i saw it a suddn releasing of all these pent directions you dont see where thr pending ok so what is the situation a woman walks into the APG sounds like the start of a joke yet clearly the scene is set by the boys the boys who are already thr the boys who talk all the time the boys who supposedly command the discourse even tho they know they dont command it they dont even want to command it thr not trying to command it they just know a little bit more about the things that thr talking about than the person who walked in the door and thrs a presumption a presumption of the group that where everybody wants to go or where the group is willing to go is where somebody is interested some somebodies are interested and thats not a bad idea thr is nothing wrong with that as an ideal of how the group wd work or any group wd work where does it ask a question tho of the new person is it so much that it is asking a question of them or is it ar-are you are you disallowed you seem hurt by this but are you disallowed what cd you not do that seems to be the the angle of exploration what cd you not do as things are now what wd end what wd fit what wd be disapproved disappropriation at what angle can you slip the knife in thr are crows and thr are another thr are other birds thr was a show once but i didnt go i i started that and stopped it immediately in uh in uh an improv the other day i thr was a show i heard of once and i was going to say what it was the story the association the spotlit wreathed person smoking in the front but i gave up on that becuz uh i just didnt need to go thr that now a common sort of cliche of our time didnt need to go thr more than i needed to know these are things that you hear on friends i think
looks like an eye peaking in from another world i caught it in the mirror i mean it made me put the pause on it was if i was sneaking up on something but its just a knothole in the wood but now it seems green seems like as i said an eye from another world i'm a bad painter did i tell you i'm a bad poet
a little music wd be nice it always seems like it'd be nice to have a little bit of music a slight soundtrack something that holds and pulls the sounds together john's wd be beautifully misused at this point but thats not what i'm gonna do i'm gonna take the pad up and sit on the porch and draw and smoke and maybe talk into this machine so far i think ive made one thing so far today that is to say i have made one thing in the ah several hours that are remaining to me ah i may make more but i have made one thing and its that i am a bad painter its a lovely piece it says i am a bad painter its not lovely its trivial thr is nothing about it it says what it is
it assumes i think the overlay of the G and the ampersand it assumes i think the stovepipe hat somehow its this guy in the front its the painter its the bad painter of modern life he's gotta wear that hat and these colors and its spring and ive nothing no clue about paris in the spring
i didnt do what i said i fell into this tactile world of swirling just things that you can do these little aspects and touches of the end of the brush thr is nothing particularly mysterious about it and yet i'm finding it very ah intoxicatingly fun watching sudden rich color appear in a white space yes they can do it they can do it better on TV everybody can make it look a lot more interesting than this texture within texture see i forget to talk and i just i move with it its a different sort of activity going on here its not concerned with the kinds of focus of interest what am i talking about with my rebuke to it it doesnt need any of that
that was yet another intoxicated spiral in on it museyness i wanna be fighting colors black and green and turning em its a certain sort of stalkiness to the brush tapping to it operating color as on three kinds of layers a suggestion of slight forward and back but i mean it oughtta be you know it oughtta be just kids art that seems to be that thrs nothing wrong with doing this in fact its a kind of beautiful thing if you want to just do it but thrs nothing that makes anything more than kids art
ok well now thrs another one what you think i am play huh i i think it somehow clearly has to even tho its just been a couple of simple accidents a line suggests a horizon like a kids raygun or something it seems like i dunno hmm it just turned funny fanciful it was a 3 play on a card all prim and proper but i mean this laxidaisical somehow behind that background the ha has i'm not sure i'm still asking
ok now it is plowing ahead nervous its sort of the jitters its its its stumbling back and forth OK sos thrs the the lighters in the pocket OK and so we have the pen and you pace back and you look and it cd have been a project i cd use these earlier you know this this misc proj thing that that i cd fragments from misc proj i guess i dont want to destroy em these graphic things but i'm making em as something else will i boldly go cd be i have other things on my mind as well i cd steal something from ray i have a stack of his discards in fact the things very much the kinda things that tedd was talking about the things he didnt think had anything in them to give or lets just say whatever had been given was already given so these were scrap they were to be somehow incorporated as something else but now suddenly the imposition of color upon them and this is a perfect kinda one for me to take from him to a piece that i used on my own
thrs gotta be a good bit of this goin on already i said thrs gotta be a good bit of this going on already where the tape recorder sits thr and sounds are happening and i’m doing something else and thr n-no need at all to record this to turn it into a thing and yet i will turn it into a thing a collection of all its images its representations and it wont be that big of a deal its like kids art
just listening to birds being much more impressed with the ability to play that is continuity has flow the sort of space that yr within you curl up into it its like a blanket around you and that sounds happen it pulls back to that tactile thing so is john cage right i mean can we let sounds just be themselves i thought i just saw a face at the window the curtains i thought someones face was behind the curtains a shudder of movement and i wish i had another cigarette and everything right now is looking splashy and colored and suddenly i’m seeing those possibilities imagining how you cd trace the darker lines and work with the splotches of color its beautiful
thrs never a plotting of routes with squirrels they just take off and go for it thr gonna get from point A to point B somehow point Bs always changing point A it doesnt matter to get back to thr might be rushes and something chases you around for awhile you might have to leap you can chatter if you want but huh hah ha the beautiful laughing bird
the idea of something barreling out where do you go with that the idea of barreling out you think its a big motor and its going be fast but it cd also be the tip of the the brush n-you press too hard and it widens doesnt give you the same line ha ha i’m a very bad painter but the ha ha comes back
and thats the gambit right that everything that i’m doing now turns into it that is some sort of unedited see how my system fights the notion the editor as a sickness and this idea that we open it and that that everything recurs and so whats an image now that cd be whatever this thing is it cd be a lamp hanging down its a number of faces its an insect its a machine and thr are a number of faces the parts of a face broken out small something creeping over thr shoulder this will have to be played out in different ways or lose its one on one the colors that i’m seeing are not thr i’m a very bad painter
its not fair to say that i cd that it hurts me i cd make a certain landslide a cer a swirl around this the way when you snowplow but its nothing like whats going on here the urgency of this bird i love breaking that surround again it was the chance that something was opening up here the idea that the where the words are taking where the words are taking off is this ever its like the point you draw quickly in sand and and it moves away except at the same time yr constantly leaving traces
drawing i dont even know what to say about drawing skills drawing i’m i’m a bad drawer it sounds stupid i’m an insufficient stack of chests place to hide things a tight roll a rolled up sock thrs someone sleeping and all these birds but apparently everyday we sleep thru all these birds
down here its still night certainly in staircase staircases always have a chance for darkness i dont know what needs that is thr a doorway i cd duck into that wd make that noir enough and this rooms so bright a nice warm light above and thats why its here and thats why i work it i think its time to go back to color i spoke to a lot of time huh i’m i’m suddenly going summational summational sum sum sum is all huh this idiots face these smiling people on an advertisement how can i how can i let that happen now something must be done well here that helps thr haircut
thats when it gets crisp right when you want white but you didnt want white but you were just sort of putting it all around it cd disolve with water pass on i should have brought the paper towels a long time now thr has been nothing going on except for the tape rolling and um as befits the mysterious time the blue thing came back you know its the blue thing from earlier its um hopelessly the blue thing now and yeah a lack of carefullness in my current minutes OK stop
thr is something scenic of ballroom dancing almost i think it was the aftereffects of even a watered down ah version of some oscar wilde sort of alluring sense of something passing by and an ironic turn on it back to forms outlining other forms back to playing in color again in this nice basement that allows for such things this being a thanksgiving poem on that account conveniently enacted then at least generally cheerful the upper edge the one that meets the surface so the places where the white mixed in i know i talked about the places where the white mixed in and later when i listen to this i wont be able to hear the places where i spoke of them so clearly and so eloquently the way that the the surface of the pallet itself moves i’m imagining that i’m a very bad painter i’m wanting to see like a series of photographs of the pallet in the course of the evening as being the answer to it the pallet as a piece of art of course weve probably already had that alot right i’m not really sure but i’m guessing that weve probably already had any number of uh instances where uh the pallet itself becomes the piece its the large blobs of paint thats the question because these things are gonna have to dry and i’m gonna be painting all night so this is not any final form of it but i guess what i’m saying is that i’m probably not going to scrape it all down either i seem to be looking for a color that is i find i’m doing things i’m moving stuff around um but i’m not finding the color that i need so i just keep touching it and touching it and touching it so thats color is is dalliance i think tedd wd understand that i think tedd probably understands that better than i do then the last i’m having a fun time with this OK i’m not saying anything again
losing too much of that because of not having the tape recorder on and in the habit of talking into it knowing now that i can’t say all the things that were running thru my mind that i found infinitely useful and interesting things that i might wish to see recorded that i might wish to see ah have some kind of understandable and sharable format but ah i dont have that all which is nice i’ve been painting a page out of the creative loafing not my normal kind of thing what a pointless statement that wd be yeah this is the sort of thing i do constantly yes again i’m losing losing whatever it was that i’d reached for a sence walking up to the door its always its always the doors the doors man dude randy wont like that part randy doesnt like when i say dude man stuff like that in poems i dont think flat warm spherical dude i said that in a poem that phrase right thr he didnt like it i still like it i think its a good one flat warm spherical dude anyway i think ive said everything i need to say about the painting that i’m working on because thr are nothings to say but i dunno maybe this is a good one and maybe its not maybe its just too fucking obvious well i’m not even sure that what i been saying what ive been sort of pretending was talk was actually making it to ah making it to the recorder because its been going by so softly and i think now that ive uh completed yet another installment it gets all folded now
ok so maybe i cd just call it the you get the idea variety the sd it indicates itself and it it does it tells you what you need what you need to know about it as an idea and work with it thr you get the idea again its always always when the white blends into it seems to give it something else not just yellow then again this thing is become this wierd this funny imposition thats the whole idea that i’m i’m getting rid of tho or at least trying to get rid of in the in the day that thr is no imposition i’m not going to go back and fix anything later its gonna be what it is when the the job of representing it is thru youre free to be bored whenever you need to be everybody is always free to be bored this is all that can be done to this piece of work do anything down here will be just a little much somehow um yeah it just doesnt seem to be anything a dot of pure red maybe you see now ive made a thing red clearly that is not what we wanted we didnt want it to be red we wanted it to just be the redness of red and this is where the redness of red begins to break down the redness of red becomes the greenness of something else what was distinction lines that ran across something have turned out to be something else entirely thr traceries things that catch bits of other things movement but then themselves may move may not as the case may be thr needed to be a drop of blue somewhere thats if we were gonna call it a sky i can hear the tape recorder breathing of course i am carefully silent having never had anything in particular to say but having always made a great deal of noise i guess i wanted thr to be again i guess i wanted thr to be again i guess i wanted again when you mix directly into the white in changes quickly hmm well thisll be a challenge